xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
