Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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