Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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