I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
