Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
