I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
