Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize