Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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