hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
