He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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