I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
