fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
