I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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