You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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