I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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