Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
