Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
