just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
