he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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