Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My pussy is not your playground.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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