You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
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we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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