the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
