problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There r osticjed everywhere
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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