I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize