I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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