ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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