mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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