We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
