This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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