There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
