I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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