I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
