I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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