the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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