Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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