EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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