Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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