It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
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