she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
