Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
