I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
