yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
