Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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