She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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