if you like me you must not know who I am
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
