I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is my gift to your gina
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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