its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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