Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
