Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That accounts for only three of the penises
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
