He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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