on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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