I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
