i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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