once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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