I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
