you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
