That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
time to smoke my breakfast
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
